How to build influence and informal power
One of the first things most people do when they earn or are promoted into leadership positions is wield their new power. That’s a perk of leadership, and anyone in a top position in an organization who claims they dislike having power likely isn’t being entirely truthful with themselves. That’s why power is sometimes known as an aphrodisiac.
I’ve written before about the distinction between formal power, which is linked to position and hierarchy, and informal power, which is based on influence. We now live in an era where it’s challenging to wield formal power. When people want something done, they use their informal power or influence to persuade someone to undertake the work they want done.
While this should make sense to most leaders, you may need to consider another factor: that building influence starts with building relationships.
Let me explain what I mean.
Relationship Power
I want to credit Doug Conant, the former CEO of Nabisco and Campbell Soup Company, for helping me connect leadership and relationships when he joined me on my podcast, “The CEO Project.” When I spoke with Doug, he made it very clear that to influence people to pursue positive outcomes, you first need to build a relationship with them.
That can seem like a counterintuitive idea to many leaders. It would have seemed strange to me early in my career. We were taught not to get too close to the people who worked and reported to us in case we needed to reprimand or, worse, fire the person. The accepted wisdom of the time was that if you were friendly with someone, it would be difficult or even impossible to make objective decisions regarding that person.
Some leaders still believe and act this way. Getting too close to people seems like a dangerous zone. However, Doug leveraged his investment in people and built strong relationships to turn around two massive companies. When in doubt. He would nurture the relationship.
If you fail to build relationships with people, your ability to influence and lead effectively will likely wane over time.
Friendly Advice
While I admit that it might seem challenging to strike a balance between building a supportive relationship with an employee and being their supervisor, the effort is worth it. One tip you can consider is thinking about how, if someone gets into trouble at work, such as their performance beginning to suffer, that’s something they caused—not you. You’re only observing it.
Now, think about how you might act toward a friend outside of work who you feel is letting people down. A good friend would have the courage to speak up, let the person know they are struggling, and then offer help.
Ultimately, if someone is unwilling to accept feedback on their behavior and their performance continues to suffer, you may have to make the tough decision to let them go. However, this is something you might also share with a friend. If you saw that they were miserable and didn’t have the will or skill to do the job well, you’d encourage them to find another job.
As their boss, you’re effectively doing the same thing—just with a harder edge.
In both cases, it’s crucial to have empathy and compassion for someone who is struggling. And if someone is struggling, they’ll be much more likely to take feedback from someone they trust and perhaps even care about than from someone with whom they have no relationship whatsoever.
Know Yourself
To become a better leader, you must build team influence . The best way to build influence is by forming relationships with team members. That doesn’t mean you need to go out for drinks with the team every week or hang out with people on the weekends. It’s about demonstrating that you care about them and getting to know what matters most to them.
But you also have a responsibility to the organization. That means that if someone’s performance begins to flag in any way, you must be willing to have a challenging conversation with them—no matter how close you are to them.
So, let that serve as a warning to those who are conflict-averse. Suppose you’re someone who struggles to deliver challenging words. In that case, you might also struggle because every great leader excels at building relationships built on honest and direct feedback.
